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Hell take you...Jason didn't immediately realize that the TV switched off - he was already half-asleep - well, much more than half, to be honest. After the whole day, whole ten hours of work, he came home dead tired, and was just strong enough to turn the bloody thing on - not too loud, of course - and, then, to fall into deep, soft, and sleepy arm-chair. Too soft, as well - and too sleepy - Jason didn't notice how and when he passed away - only that, when he woke up, the TV was switched dead off.But that was not a problem at all - Jason would rather have welcomed that. The problem was sitting in a second armchair, just opposite him - the big problem, about six-ten, in a perfect black suit with a sign of red underneath it, and smiling at Jason. Jason smiled back and closed his eyes again, about to return to that wonderful dream he was watching just a second before - it was all about Julia, his co-worker. Right now, he was dreaming that she has invited him for a dinner... and, in a blink, Jason was wide-awake. There was NO another arm-chair, and there could NOT be a six-ten man sitting in it - the only second arm-chair in his room was the one reflected by the large, almost half-wall, mirror - and whoever sits there should be his own reflection. Jason stared at the reflection, and the man sitting there nodded, and stood up - that was too much, already. ...Well, almost too much, because the reflected man came to the mirror from the other side and asked in a deep voice - 'May I come in?' Instinctively, Jason nodded - and his half-wall mirror went black for a moment, and when it was back - so was the strange visitor, only this time - on Jason's side of the mirror. All Jason could do was to open his mouth in astonishment, deep and wide, and stare at the visitor, who looked around the room, said some quiet words in the language Jason never heard of, and, making a step forward, gave Jason his hand: 'Nice to meet, Jason. I'm Elial, Belig Elial. I represent the Mekratrig Entertainment Co.' By now, the bits of reality were starting to penetrate Jason's mind - not in the least because he pinched himself as hard as he could, hoping to wake up. But he was still seeing the same visitor, who had his large red hand wide open for a friendly shake. Automatically, Jason gave his five, and immediately regretted it - the visitor shook his hand with a force suitable for a bulldozer. Now, wait a second... 'How, did you say, was your name? I'm sorry...' 'B. Elial. And, as a representative of the Mekratrig Entertainment Co., I am delighted to offer you the prize you have won this year.' 'But ... There must be a mistake' Jason felt pretty lost 'I could not have won anything! Yes, I never played any of those lotteries, etc., so...' 'Nevertheless, you have won... Oh, just checking - you are the Jason Clair McArthur, born March 13 1969 in Glasgow?' 'Yes, but...' 'Let me be the first to congratulate you' and the visitor, without invitation, again grabbed Jason's hand, and shook it with such strength, that Jason almost cried. The visitor went on 'It is our corporate policy to offer our customers full service, whether they want it or not.' 'But I'm not your bloody customer!!!' 'Oh, but you are, ...or would it be more accurate to say that you have become a prospective customer as soon as you were born...' At these words Jason felt as if struck by the lightning. A couple of seconds he spent just to think of all the possibilities - but all were completely impossible, except one, which one was barking mad. Still, he tried it: 'So, you claim that you've come from Hell?' 'Oh, no' Elial was charm itself 'the Hell is a confederation, governed by a council of resource holders. I only represent the largest participant - that is, Satan. His cartel holds 80 percent of the resources - but the old Beelzebub sticks to his sulphide mines as if his life depends on it, ha-ha' Elial emitted a short laugh 'that was a good one!, as if his life depends on it!!! But, Jason, what's the matter with you???' Maybe, he asked that because, seconds ago, Jason has closed his eyes, and placed his palms onto his head, telling to himself, quite aloud, 'OK, I'm dreaming. I know I am, so I must be. Since the Hell does not exist, and I was too tired last day anyway - this all is, totally, a product of my imagination. I promise I will see the doctor tomorrow. Now, I will count down from five, and I will wake up at zero... Five,.. four,.. three,.. and... two... there will not be any visitor here from...' 'Hell?' asked Elial gently. 'AAAAA-aaa-aaahh!!!!' Jason opened his eyes and fell off his chair, and quickly crawled to the furthest corner he could see. 'You don't exist! You're not here!!! You...' 'Shut up!!!' roared Elial, and he seemed to grow in size, as big as a room itself, his shape seemed to lose its nice features of a fit man in forties, and became a dreadful gorilla-like figure, glowing in red fur with blazing eyes. That may have been just an illusion - because, when Jason was back in his senses, Elial was, again, the nice tall man in a nice black suit, warmly smiling. 'As I may have not explained yet, Jason, there never have been a customer who refused our prize. You don't know yet what it is, so, why don't you get back in the chair and listen?' ...So Jason did... But he had to ask one more thing - 'You say I won a prize. But I know I never played any lottery, or such. So, how...' 'Oh, that's technicalities. Each year we take all phone numbers one calls, sum them up, then take the result-modulo-666 and add the customer's age. Whoever has the result of 666 wins the prize - and, this year, you're the only one, so I felt it my duty to present prize myself - although usually I let the young Begemoth run errands. But one winner only - this is extraordinary! 'But,..' Jason felt silly 'what did you do when there were no phones?' 'Oh, then we summed the number of people one killed so far, plus a number of women one slept with - believe me, it often was much larger than any phone. Still, allow me to explain about the prize. It's ten wishes - provided they are in the power in my employer - and' Elial smiled 'his power is quite high, as you can imagine.' 'Wait right there' Jason felt certain enough to interfere. 'Ten wishes, you say?' 'Yes, ten. Or did I say five? Sorry if I did... You know - my memory is not what it was two thousand years ago.' 'Any wishes?' 'Oh, not, of course,' Elial managed to produce a smile which, somehow, made Jason feel worse than after a thousand kicks up the ass 'There are rules. Three, to be exact. First, you are not allowed to wish for additional wishes. Second, you are not allowed to wish for power greater or equal to the power of whoever grants the wish - Satan in this case, of course, I'm just a representative, - but you have to be totally insane to be able to wish anything He cannot do, anyway - so that's only a technical point, just for protocol. Third, you are not allowed to wish any consequences of your earlier wishes to disappear. Would you rather have this in writing?' 'No, it's OK.'- Jason began to accommodate the strange thought 'so, for example, if I will want to wish for ten million dollars...' 'They will be in your grasp the next second. May I just add - out of pure kindness - that nobody of our customers ever used more than eight wishes out of ten. But that, of course, is a minor point.' and, with what almost looked like a shy smile, Elial disappeared. Fifteen minutes before Jason was asleep - but now he found himself wide awake, walking from one corner of his room to another. His mind was occupied with thoughts of endless possibilities - provided, of course, that this all was not already a dream and - he didn't like that one - that he was still sane. Suddenly, he stopped in the middle of the room and said to the air, slowly and loudly: 'I want ten million dollars in cash. Now!' A second later a medium-size explosion rumbled from where the table was, heavy smoke filled the room and the shockwave threw Jason down to the floor. When the smoke thinned, in about a minute, Jason, still on the floor, opened his eyes, dreading to think what the mess the room would be after something like that - after all, he merely asked for money, and never expected the result to be a fireball up his ass with instant delivery. To his surprise, there wasn't any mess at all. In fact, the room appeared to be just the way it always was - except there, on the table, was a large leather case. Slowly, still trembling a bit, Jason stood up, crept to the case, quickly touched it and ducked, having a nasty suspicion that there may be more fireballs inside. Nothing. That is, nothing until he finally managed to stand up again and open the case. There, neatly packed, were packs of 100-dollas banknotes, which looked quite normal. Jason took one pack and opened it - the money indeed appeared to be very much normal, even their numbers were different. Now, that was something, he thought. Tomorrow he will wish for Julia to fall in love with him, and ask her for dinner, and then... And then the phone rang. * * * ...Jason did not have a faintest idea as to how, or, for that matter, when, he had fallen asleep again. When he woke up, however, the clock was showing almost 10 o'clock, and he only woke up because all his three phones were ringing as if about to blow up. He picked one - and put it back down much faster, for even in a briefest moment he could recognize the raging voice of his boss O'Dell. He then hesitated a bit, and plugged off the other two phones - since O'Dell was crazy enough to try and call all three at once. And Jason's doorbell immediately went mad too. He opened the door - and regretted doing so instantly, since it was O'Dell himself, with two mobile phones in two hands and a look of death in his face. Jason could just step back - and then, for about ten minutes, he could only hear the O'Dell's voice - but, then, so could three whole blocks around. He didn't even bother much to listen, but then some words of O'Dell caught his mind: '... and you bloody know you are the fucking responsible for this thing, and you bloody know you have to deliver it on Monday - and when I call you last week Tuesday all you can do is to say you wish you never heard of a bloody thing this week and then you ass disappears until weekend!!!' 'Get out' Jason suddenly burst up. He had enough 'and off here!!! I will do it!!!... whatever,.. just get out' and he kicked O'Dell out and locked the door... 'Damn, I wish someone would fuck this bastard's ass so thick that he wouldn't say a word for another ten years... ...Oh, no... holy smoke, that must be it!' Jason suddenly remembered the strange guest, the lottery, the prize, and ten wishes... - The damn lottery and prize wasn't a dream...- but when he opened the door again, O'Dell was already no longer there. Perhaps, he was now feeling just a small bit more uncomfortable than Jason really meant him to. * * * To Jason's astonishment, the damn thing worked - Julia, with a long habit of listening nicely to whatever was said at her, and then regretfully denying the invitation to dinner (all nice and polite in the process), had fallen to him as soon as he entered the office. The "Jason, I love you" was the first thing he heard... well, it's nice to have a wish or two on your hands... * * * Jason's doorbell was ringing again. And again. Still half-asleep, Jason heard Julia opening the door, then looked at the clock - 7 in the morning. What the devil... But then he suddenly was wide awake, staring at the policemen, who entered the room. 'What the hell is going on' demanded Jason. So far, as he could remember, he never had anything to do with police - especially police coming to his house at 7 in the morning. 'Get up' demanded the cop 'now, and fast. You're under arrest for robbery. Your prints are all over the place, and inside two safes, too, so shut up now, dress, and go. And, if I were you, I would confess now - with the evidence we have you will rot in prison for ten thousand years.' 'What is going on' Jason had no idea as to that - but he had a damn good idea that he never robbed anything, banks included. 'What the hell you are talking about? I want to see my lawyer, now' and, suddenly, he felt a knot of cold deep in his gut - those ten millions he wished for, were they simply transported to him from the bank' safe? 'All in good time' the cop glanced at his watch 'get dressed. And, if I were you - I would stop playing shit and confess now.' 'Confess?' Jason suddenly felt outraged 'Confess??? I'd rather burn in hell...' And something again exploded, right in the middle of the room, just like the first time. Roaring sound, shockwave threw Jason down, he could only see the cop frozen in astonishment, and then Jason was down - but, somehow, the floor was just not there, so he was falling down... and down... in total blackness... * * * The landing was rough indeed - but Jason, completely paralyzed with fear and breathless, rather welcomed it - at least, he was no longer falling. He tried to breathe - at least he was still alive. He tried to move - but could not even lift the finger. Suddenly, the total blackness was gone, and he saw the sky high above - some strange, reddish sky, with heavy blood-red clouds which seemed to be so low as if about to crash into the ground - no, into Jason directly, the steamy clouds were gathering around him with a low rhythmic hum. Jason closed his eyes again, trying to think. What happened? Had the cop shot him, and was this afterlife? Or was he just dreaming? Or, maybe, he had finally gone bananas after all the recent excitements? Or... 'Get up' - said a harsh voice. Jason tried to answer - and suddenly discovered that he was no longer paralyzed. He could move - even talk. 'I don't want to' answered he to the voice, still eyes closed. 'Go away.' 'I said, get up, if you don't want me to fry your balls right here. Now. Belial wants to see you' the voice seemed regretful 'though I can't imagine what He can want with you. My way, I would rather play "hide-and-kick" with you too, but the Old Man seems to be interested in you, for I don't know why. He wants you before you go to Chairman - now, that's unheard of...' Jason slowly opened his eyes, then sat and looked around. All around was the thick reddish smoke, in which he could see for only a couple of meters. Still, to his right, there was a non-smoking corridor about two meters wide, and, in its midst, stood on all four legs something totally black and furry - almost five feet high, looking much like a sadistic projection of a cat in a masochist' nightmare. 'Go' and the dreadful thing pointed towards the far end of the corridor with one of its feet. So Jason did, rather fast, because the dreadful thing was walking half-a foot behind him all the way, or so it seemed, breathing and hissing something which sounded uncomfortably much like "meat, nice meat, live meat" in Jason's ear - and Jason did not dare to look behind. The corridor seemed to be long, longer than long, and Jason was totally exhausted when, finally, he saw a blip of light ahead - and almost ran to that blip, which was closes and closer... ...And, suddenly, Jason found himself in a huge room, walls totally black, and nothing else in there - except the huge armchair carved of green marble. The furry thing roared something in a language Jason never heard of - and, in a moment, the marble chair was covered by heavy black smoke, and then the smoke was gone in an instant - and Jason saw the tall fit man in his forties, dressed in a perfect black suit, sitting there. In fact, he looked too much like... 'Welcome, Jason' rumbled the voice so loud that Jason felt almost deafened - the figure pointed to the black furry thing which walked Jason here 'and you, Begemoth, out.' 'But Master' now the torturous cat was meowing in what was almost a begging voice 'Master, I've told you, these succubi, you've promised you will help if I deliver this one to you instead of the Head Office first...' 'Out I said. And you can try to deal with these succubi yourself, rather than bothering me' the figure waved his hand again, and a dozen of long fangs, almost ten inches long, suddenly appeared in the cat's mouth. 'Now...' the figure on the chair watched, as if judging his own work, mumbled 'and a bit of that...' he made a pass with fingers, and fangs curved, turned yellow, and something too similar to blood was now dripping from one of these monstrous fangs 'Out!' The black furry thing sat on the floor, tried to touch his new fangs with one of his feet, than jumped up and ran away with a speed of a tropical tornado in rage, happily meowing. 'Now, Jason' the deep rumbling voice of the figure in the chair filled the room 'You surprized me again. First, you turn to be the only lottery winner in the year. Then, you, somehow, manage to have whole five wishes before you finally get here.' 'You,..' Jason was still not sure 'You are that guy who walks through mirrors, are you? How was it... Belig?' 'Belig Elial' the figure smiled almost gently 'yes, I use this name when walking on Earth. From time to time. By the way, Jason that was a nice idea about your boss - I delivered your wish to him myself.' Jason remembered that quick fight with O'Dell, and shook in a horror - he imagined just what the 'delivery' was like. 'Well, Jason,' continued Belial 'the real reason you are here is that I like you. Don't ask why - I like you. And I will tell you something which is not required by lottery rules - oh, even if Satan finds out, I will still be OK. Still, for one more minute from... yes, right now, you have a chance to get back and live the rest of your life. If you can find a way. You see, the lottery rule says you can't wish to get back from here - you wanted to burn in hell, and so you will. But - you saw the young Begemoth - once he won the lottery too, several hundred years ago. A bright lad, almost a king. But when Mordred prompted for his allegiance, he said he'd rather be a pet of the devil - so, here he is, a pet.' Jason's thoughts ran at the highest speed there is. "Burn in hell" - well, he himself said so. And, damn it, he can't unwish. So, he'll remain in Hell, no matter what. And burn. And... wait a second... 'Belial, what does "burn" mean in here?' 'Oh, that one. Everybody tries - hopes he will redefine "burn" to be something nice, which oxidizes cold at 35C. No way. Here, to burn is the only way - sulphide fires. You still have five seconds...' Five seconds. Hell. Burn. Me. Me??? Wait, maybe... 'I want to die. Now.' 'Sorry, Jason' Belial really looked sorry 'nice try, though. I haven't heard this one in centuries. But you're already dead. The only chance there is, and Begemoth here, as I said, caught it - in his minute he asked himself to be cloned. So Begemoth is here - but the clone is not the same person, only the same gene makeup plus memories, so we had to send it back. It lived its life - and was not even aware that his original is here. And a nice life it was, too - ever heard of Arthur the King? ...Well, sorry, I really am - I rather liked you. But by now the Satan, most likely, already knows you're here - so to him you go. Burn in Hell, as you wished' and some invisible force took Jason and carried him away. Damn!!!
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